Well, with decades when people tried to stay away as far as possible from the commitment, someone really should have seen casual dating coming. Before going on to explain the dos and don'ts of it, let's figure out what is casual dating after all.
Casual dating or a casual relationship is a physical and emotional relationship between two people who have a sexual relationship without demanding any further development of the relationship and commitment. It developed hugely in the last several years; there are even casual dating sites. It feels like it is the embodiment of all anti-commitment people's dreams, but... people are people, whatever they do, they cannot survive without making up some rules, thus the casual dating rules appeared.
Casual Dating Rules
You can spend a lot of time wondering how on Earth people who wanted to get away from rules and commitment created the rules, but it is quite common for us to substitute the old rules with the new ones instead of just ultimately stop following them. You need to know the rules of casual dating in order to succeed and in order to avoid making mistakes.
How to Casually Date Without Getting Attached
First, let's get through the list of rules that you need to follow in order to date without getting attached. Let's be honest, what's the point in starting in a casual relationship if you don't want to keep it casual? Okay, there is a point, but we will discuss it a little bit later. Now, check out the rules for keeping the casual relationship casual.
1. Be Honest
The very first and the key aspect of a casual relationship is being honest. Whether you want to be romantically involved or just want to engage into casual sex dating, you need to discuss it beforehand. While it may seem that casual dating is much more complicated than normal dating, but that's the way the cookie crumbles: in order to get more freedom you need more rules.
2. Respect Your Partners
We use the plural form because, in the case of casual dating, you are most likely to date a few partners simultaneously. But that's not the reason to treat them as a dime a dozen, and there's no point to get jealous if they have other partners. Remember, it's casual dating, so no commitment. Never, ever consider one of your partners or all of them as you property. The best way to stay away from commitment is considering your partners as absolutely independent beings.
3. Keep Your Conversations to Your Dates
When you are in casual relationships, there is not much to discuss except for the arranging of your next hang-out. If you phone each other and chat occasionally, it may mean that someone wants something bigger than a mere casual relationship. You can fall for that if you want your relationships to develop, but cut it if you want your dating to remain casual.
1. Introducing to Family and Friends
You want to keep your dating casual? Don't introduce your casual partner to your friends or to your relatives. You can do it only if you suddenly run into your family members or friends. Still, better avoid doing it even on this occasion. This is the very first step to ruining your casual relationship. Your friends and family members will instantly increase the level of temptation to transfer you casual dating to something more serious. “Why keep it casual? She's perfect, you should do something”, your friends will say. “If you keep it casual, you will have no chance to turn it into something serious, and you will regret it”, your family members will say. You may dismiss their talking, but sooner or later you will find yourself haunted by their words.
All in all, your folks and friends are perfect tools in killing off your casual dating. So, if you feel comfortable with your seeing each other occasionally with no commitment, avoid introducing your partner to your friends and family.
2. Call Your Partner to Talk About...Well, Anything
You are casual partners, which means that you are not lovers, friends, friends with benefits, blah-blah-blah. You have no commitment. If you start phoning or texting your casual partner to talk about something you would rather discuss with your friends, you are making the first step to kill the casual appeal of your relationship. You must not give your partner entrance to your everyday life and to your thoughts. You partner may start sympathizing you too much, which can culminate into him or her wanting more. Thus starts the agony of your casual relationship.
On the other hand, if your partner is more into casual relationship than you, he or she may assume your sharing with them your stories as a sign that you are wanting more. Needless to say that it will scare them off for sure. And your casual dating with that guy or girl is officially over. As a result, you are left without both casual relationship and the possibility to turn them into something serious.
3. Jealousy (duh...)
Well, you do understand that if you want to keep it casual, you can't get jealous about your casual partner. You don't owe each other and you don't own each other. Most likely you won't be happy if your casual partner would get jealous after seeing you with someone else. You are not committed to each other, which means you can have other partners. Though, if you want to kill your casual dating, go on, get jealous. You do know what it means and you know how your casual partner will react to this. This means that you may have big plans for your future, which is definitely not one of the aspects of casual dating. It ends into your casual partner running scared from you.
How to Turn Casual Dating Into a Relationship
“Wait, the don'ts are not enough?” No. The don'ts from the previous paragraphs would most likely lead you to losing any kind of relationship at once. It is definitely not something that you would enjoy. The process of turning your casual dating into a serious relationship requires other rules. So, without further ado check out the steps of turning your casual hookups into something more serious.
1. Is That What You Really Want?
First, you need to find the answer to this question. Reconsider all the benefits that you have with casual dating. There is no point in commitment, you have as much alone time as you need. Besides, you really want to stick with that person for the rest of your life? Think about all the possibilities that casual dating brings you. You can have three or five partners, without commitment. There is no jealousy, no arguments, no responsibilities... no love, though. If the last point really bugs you, it means that you really grew out of casual dating. There's literally no point in it for you at all. If you fell in love with your casual partner, you should also consider his or her reaction in advance. Was there some kind of special chemistry between you? Have you seen certain signs that your partner may want more as well? If so, then you should go for it.
2. Make Further Plans
There is one thing you also need to consider before taking your relationship to a new level. How will it change? Switching from casual to serious relationship is not just saying “I love you” and being done with it. You really need to make a future plan to determine where your relationship will go afterwards. Otherwise, you are just putting everything at stake with a very big probability to lose everything. So, think of it before confessing to your casual partner.
Okay, we can take it less serious. Just talk it out and over. You should tell your casual partner about your feelings and about your plans for both of you. Otherwise, you take the risk of becoming a daydreamer, if not a lunatic. Keeping silent will lead you to stuck in the delusional state, hoping that your casual partner will miraculously find out that you are in love with him or her and will make the first step. It stroke you the first? Then you are the one to make the first step, and it doesn't work otherwise.
How to End a Casual Relationship
In case if you are for keeping your relationship casual and your partner wants something more, you are most likely to end your casual dating. Yep, you will feel ashamed and you will feel guilty, but that's the only way. Still, there are a few steps you need to follow in order to end it right.
1. Tell Your Partner
Of course, you are ashamed and you think that the best way is to stop answering calls and messages. Wrong! The best way to end it for good and not leaving your partner dreaming that one day you will come back, is to tell him or her that you are not for continuing your dating.
2. Abandon Your Partner Completely
You need to end it for good, which means that you are not going to continue sleeping with your partner. You want to try to stay friends with them, as it will give him or her false hopes. And you will no longer like his or her posts and photos on Facebook and Instagram.
3. Prepare For the Negative Feedback
Well, you can't expect your casual partner to take your partying ways okay. Most likely you will get a backlash. So, you must be emotionally ready for it.