If you are an introvert, then holding back anger, despair, and sometimes shame, you ask yourself again and again, “Do introverts simply have no chance to find love and remain themselves? And to find love, you have to pretend to be someone else?” So, why is dating so hard for introverts? Well, you need to communicate a lot with different people, look for single ladies for dating, be fun, positive, open, talkative. Alas, introverts have almost no chance of winning this game. Therefore, many prefer to simply give up (although suffering in their hearts because of this).
But if someone else’s rules don’t suit you, you can always come up with your own. Nobody can forbid you to do this. Moreover, introverts have many qualities that an extrovert will envy.
Why Dating for Introverts in the 21st Century Has Become Easier?
At least 50% of introverts get acquainted on the Internet. And there are many reasons why this is so popular. For example, on a single ladies website, there is time to “take a closer look” at a woman, come up with replies, find out the interests and hobbies of the lady even before having a date. Is online dating easier for introverts? Well, it is. Thanks to such sites, introverts can make interesting acquaintances and find a girl without leaving their home. The main thing is to act and do it competently. Acquaintances on the Internet quickly develop into interesting relationships, and many couples who met on the Internet have long become families.
Also, nowadays you can meet many interesting girls in public places. If you go to a park, a cinema, a theater, an exhibition or a concert, you can meet many beauties with whom relationships will be easily started. Statistics say that approximately 30 percent of introverts find each other in public places. It is understandable because there are a lot of people and even for introverts, it is easy to find someone.
Main Things for a Successful Introvert Dating
Why dating is difficult for introverts? Unlike the openness to the outside world inherent in extroverts, introverts often turn to their inner world, and social interactions take away a lot of energy from them. So, if you are an introvert, don’t think that something is wrong with you, and if so far your attempts to find a girl are unsuccessful, then try to change tactics, taking into account the peculiarities of your nature.
Development of social skills
You need to start by developing your skills to communicate with others. Psychologists give dating advice for introverts – become a volunteer in public organizations, for example. Numerous volunteering centers always need helpers in some situations. People organize the search of people, they clean large areas, help someone, and so on. Alternatively, you can become a volunteer in an animal shelter. There will also be an opportunity to communicate with people. So, you have a chance to find a girlfriend there.
Getting rid of routine
The life of most introverts is focused on the home-work-home route. Occasionally, this list is diluted with a vacation, a visit to parents or a shopping trip. Get rid of the routine! Immediately! It is useless to completely change your regime and lifestyle, but it is quite easy to diversify everyday life in small things. For example, instead of sitting at home on weekends, you can take a walk to a large store. It provides an opportunity for entertainment and successful dating.
Despite the fact that girls love with their ears, that is, they don’t choose men according to external data, they still have some fad. Namely, a man should dress stylishly, harmoniously combining clothes. They should be clean and ironed. Also, nails, skin, hair have to look neat. Even if nature has not endowed a man with ideal facial features and a cool body, correctly selected clothes, and external tidiness may create a positive and pleasant impression about him in the eyes of a woman.
Use body language
Remember that most of all information about a person is non-verbal information. Make an effort – take an open pose, look into the eyes, remove imaginary dust particles from her sleeve. We understand that this can also be difficult for an introvert, but it’s still easier than prepare for half an hour, approach a woman and ask, “Do you like sandwiches?”
Never be afraid of failure
Introverts are people who are too much afraid of failures. But it is worth realizing that, in fact, no one can succeed on the first try. But if you go to your goal persistently, then after a while, you can still get the desired result. Failures are just temporary difficulties that actually always end in success. Don’t be afraid because fear is not the best assistant for a new relationship.
Main Dating Tips for Introverts
Dating helps deal with a bunch of important skills, for example, learn to communicate, charm, be interesting. It is a pity that all this practice encounters one big BUT. Most of us don’t like, don’t want and don’t know how to go on dates because we are introverts and feel uncomfortable. But these dating tips for introverts will help.
Plan a date and all date activities
Before a date, tell yourself that everything will go perfectly. Imagine in detail what you will do. What interesting things can you tell her? Surprisingly, such a mental “run” of the situation gives confidence. Avoid mass shows if you get tired of them. Concerts? Keep it for a second date, otherwise, you will not have the opportunity to talk. Also, walking or cycling routes, cultural events, museums are a good choice for an introvert.
Set a time limit on a date
What else dating tips introverts need to know? Well, let a new friend know more about you. The real goal of the first date is to arouse interest and curiosity. You both ask yourself, “Is it interesting for me to spend more time with this person? Do I want to know something more?” And if the answer is yes, you can think about what will happen next in your schedule. A date shouldn’t last more than 90 minutes. Therefore, try to finish the date at the maximum of your activity, after 2-3 hours.
Try to go out from your comfort zone
Outside the comfort zone, getting a decent portion of adrenaline, we find ourselves in the zone of overcoming and even in the zone of a breakthrough. By making a call to a girl or after going on a date, you become a little better. This is the breakthrough zone. Why? It’s just that you do something, after which you will no longer perceive the world as before because you have new knowledge.
Don’t be afraid to disappoint someone
What are the tips for two introverts dating? Don’t worry! First dates are never completely psychologically comfortable for a man or a woman. We worry and try to seem better than we are. After a few meetings, you will get a little used to it, relax, and it will become much easier and more interesting for you with each other. Actually, it’s even nice when a person honestly warns, “Listen, I’m terribly worried.” It is better to immediately explain that you are silent because you are nervous.
Learn to listen
Don’t forget that on a date, interest in the interlocutor is appreciated (the ability to ask questions about her life and listen). By the way, pop culture (new movies and TV shows are good for a start) and, oddly enough, politics are your helpers. This is monstrously thin ice, but according to some reports, it’s worth the risk since the coincidence of these views increases the likelihood of a second date by 91%.
Dating for Introverts: Online or Offline?
The question of the influence of the method of dating has been studied by many psychologists. Studies aimed at finding differences in the results of online and offline relationships have shown: online dating for introverts is the best way to find a couple for a few dates, and for marriage – offline dating is the best option.
The reason is that modern online technologies provide a huge selection of partner options. Seeing so many people wanting to get to know each other, interest in one particular woman may not arise. In addition, introverts may begin to feel fear that they will miss the ideal partner if they stop. And they continue to scroll through photos of thousands of people, hoping to understand everything at a glance at the photo. But confidence is one of the determining factors that influence the beginning of a relationship. The lack of trust can explain the lower percentage of marriages after online dating. And in a month of such communication, people most often learn less about each other than after a couple of dates.
So, what is the best option for introverts? Well, online dating is best used at the very beginning of the search. But it’s better not to use this method for too long and meet in real as soon as possible.
Main Dating Mistake for Introverts
The line between a successful acquaintance and an unsuccessful one is quite difficult to notice, especially for those introverts who have never been on a date or do it rarely. They watch some kind of dating videos, read articles, try casual dating for introverts, see how their more experienced friends get acquainted, but they can’t understand why they are rejected. Indeed, it is easy to make a mistake when dating a girl if you don’t know all the nuances.
Spend too much time at home
Perhaps you don’t like noisy parties. This is absolutely normal. But you can try to love it – start visiting parties in your own way. For example, stay there for as long as you want it. Maybe you will be comfortable in some corner from where you can watch the others and talk with those who are within your reach.
You avoid chatter
Not everyone loves talking about anything. But don’t forget that this is a great opportunity to meet or get to know a person better. Relationships don’t begin with deeply personal conversations. Moreover, such conversations can scare away a new friend. You, as an introvert, understand this yourself. Thus, talking with a new acquaintance about the little things, you can find common topics, which will lead to a more meaningful dialogue. Avoiding such a little talk at all costs, you miss the opportunity to make an acquaintance.
You pretend that loneliness is always good
An introvert needs less communication than an extrovert, but it can’t be denied that a person needs a person. We tend to distort our own thoughts. This makes you do what you don’t like because you have already put your time and energy into it. It turns out that you can continue to convince yourself that you are comfortable without anyone else, although you feel lonely.
If an introvert doesn’t dare to get acquainted with girls, he first needs to find out the reasons for such behavior and self-doubt. Each book on dating for shy introverts state that any fear can be eliminated if you do what you fear most. For this, you need to make as many acquaintances as possible and communicate with girls, surrounding yourself with female society. And then you need to get out of your comfort zone and act.