Should I Go on a Second Date with Her? A Checklist
After a date with a charming girl you come home, slightly nervous. Perhaps you are excited about the prospect of meeting again with the girl you like, but you do not really understand whether the girl is interested in you and whether your first date went well or not.
On your first date, of course, you did your best not to look stupid and to show only your best sides. Are there any signs your first date went well? Will you have a second date? How likely is it that you could have a common future? Everybody has heard that in order to make a romantic connection for the first time, you need to be honest and open-minded, but how to deal with a lack of confidence and self-doubt meeting with a new person?
Nowadays, social media plays a big role in the life of an average person, it dictates new rules and conditions, confusing a man and making him guess whether his first date went well or bad. A man makes efforts to look and act in accordance with the modern requirements, however, is it so necessary? Dating is not a play and you are not an actor. You can doubt if the first date went bad or it was a great success, but it is better to look at the signs that a girl is interested in you and would be glad to get the asking out on a second date. There are some signs a first date went well, even if you’re still having second thoughts about asking her out for the second time.
How to know if your first date went well?
You didn’t pretend to be someone else. Your date was really perfect if you didn’t want to be someone else. Every man always hopes that he can be himself, dating a girl and that he doesn’t have to conceal anything. Sometimes it can be harder than it seems at the very beginning because some girls don’t appreciate you or don’t want to communicate, they seem to sit there quietly and wait when they go home. In these cases, you try different roles to make cheer her up. So, if you had a chance to be yourself, showing the girl your inner world, then it was an incredible date.
She laughed at your jokes. Almost all girls consider guys with a good sense of humor to be very attractive, however, people perceive the same sense of humor differently. So, if she laughed at your jokes sincerely and took part in discussing something interesting or funny, then you are on the same wave. She had so many dull dates before you asked her out, so she would be glad to repeat this experience once more. An evening with good jokes and easiness in communication can be described as perfect.
She didn’t become irritated. Usually, it happens that a girl finds more than one annoying and confusing point on the first date. You can also feel the same. It’s not surprising because you meet a stranger about whom you know nothing. She might think that you are snippy or boring, that you don’t know how to match your clothes or that your jokes are not funny. However, if both of you didn’t show any annoyance and your date went smoothly, you have all the chances to continue your communication later.
Your date lasted quite long. If your date had a “two-hour date” format because both of you had a tight schedule and didn’t want to devote too much time to a stranger, then everything is fine. However, if your date didn’t imply such a format and the girl was constantly looking at her watch and left you in one hour, then your date was awful. In order to consider your date to be a good one, it should last at least several hours. So, if you spent more than a couple of hours together discussing everything and joking, then you shouldn’t worry.
You were sincere. It’s quite difficult to be sincere with a stranger with whom you will not meet again or will live together till the end. You can start talking about your relatives, childhood or just some funny stories of your life, and a girl seems not to be interested in listening to all that stuff. She can seem bored or even start yawning. You feel foolish and stop being so honest until the end of your date. However, if the girl was interested in your story-telling and you were able to tell anything you want, feeling very comfortable in her presence, then it was an ideal first date.
Both of you behaved weirdly. If both of you can behave weirdly and don’t feel any awkwardness, then you will become a great couple. It’s really wonderful when you can behave in the stupidest way together because it means that you feel relaxed. It’s impossible to have a partner with whom you cannot show your emotions and soul as well. In order to have healthy relationships, both partners should have quite similar worldviews. So, if you had fun on your date and both of you felt comfortable, it’s perfect.
You forgot about time. Every time when you ask a new girl out, you dream to meet a special girl and find the essence of a perfect dating. If you talked to each other the whole evening and didn’t look at your watches at least once, then your first date was incredible. People don’t notice the passage of time only when they feel relaxed and take pleasure in communicating.
She didn’t receive the “emergency call.” Usually, the girls ask their friends to call them within half an hour after the beginning of the date in order to get an escape route. If she doesn’t like a guy, she makes just a sad and surprised face because “something terrible has happened” and just leaves the date, using that as an excuse. So, if the girl took the call, but she continued talking with you as if nothing happened, she likes you.
It was not a regular date. It was one of the incredible dates thanks to the sparks between you and all that chemistry. You didn’t become irritated in 15 minutes and bored in 25, and you didn’t reflect on the possible options of leaving as fast as possible. You had a great desire to get to know her closer. So, ask yourself how much are you pleased with that date?
A checklist: should I ask her out on a second date?
You haven’t looked at the checklist yet, but you are going to ask the girl out. How soon to ask for a second date? If you don’t know when it will be better to call her, use the rule of two days. If you keep silent more than three days and don’t send her even a short message, then she will start thinking that you are not interested in her and your date means nothing to you. The worst thing that can happen because of your silence is that she can become indifferent, finding different reasons. So, when to ask for a second date? The best option is in two days or earlier, you can send her a bunch of flowers with an invitation card if you know where she lives, or just call her. How to ask for second date? Don’t come up with a difficult strategic plan, just pay her a compliment and ask about her plans for next Saturday, for example.
If you want to check once again whether there are reasons to ask her out on a second date, point out the following moments.
Did she show a keen interest in your communication? If she tried to talk to you on all the topics, gesturing actively and asking questions, then she is interested in you and wants to get to know you closer. If she answered your questions reluctantly yawning every 3 minutes and didn’t even try to tell something herself, then you just waste your time asking her out on a second date.
Which way her knees were directed? If you were sitting opposite each other, did you pay attention to her knees? The girl's knees, like a compass needle, always show what she is interested in.
Did she try to remove all the barriers? When a girl likes a guy, she tries to eliminate all barriers to communicate freely. In this case, a handbag or a glass can serve as a barrier, which she put away from her knees or moved aside on the table. Besides, if she unlinked her hands, this means that she ceased to feel embarrassed and tried to trust you. So, if you think about asking for a second date, do that without a long delay.
Did she show her bare neck or wrist? She could do that subconsciously, but these gestures mean that she trusts you and expresses her liking. She could also start playing with her hair or touching something of her clothes.
Did she stroke some things? The girl could start stroking things, for example, cutlery if you were in a restaurant or just her fingers. Also, she could start playing with the glass. All these movements have also a sexual overtone, a call to action. How to ask for second date? Call her and offer her to go to a wine-tasting party.
Did she look steadfastly at you? If she did that and began to bite or lick her lips a little, this gesture clearly hints that the girl has a very strong sympathy. Besides, she could use another option that is known since the old times. She could look at you and tried to catch your eyes, but as soon as you looked at her, she looked away or down. If the girl did that, then she is obviously interested in you, and she is not against your attention to herself. You don’t know how to ask out on a second date, ask her to do a favor and keep company to a concert.
Did she visit your social network page? When a woman does not like you, she does not think of you in her spare time. However, if you sat down inside, she would try to collect any information or send you a friend request. As soon as you confirm it, she will engage in commenting your page or putting “like” under your photos. A woman who is not interested in you will not bother watching your profile and, especially, adding you to her friends.
Did you feel that spark? If you began to miss her in an hour or so, you couldn’t but think about her all the time and felt that spark almost at once, don’t reflect too much on how to ask a girl on a second date, just call her.
What will be next?
The first date is a wonderful and exciting event. However, let's be frank, it is more exciting than wonderful. It can bring a hassle during the preparation, and the fear of being late (and, perhaps, of coming much earlier), accompanied by the fear that a girl will not come at all, and awkwardness with too long pauses in the conversation, or the inability to completely relax, etc. Should you go on a second date with her? This question is rhetorical. It all depends on how much you are perfect for each other. Besides, according to psychologists, it depends on how skillfully you will use your opportunities.
On the first date, you should determine what unites you and, if you decide to ask her out again, choose a place for a second date in accordance with that. Usually, people go to the cinema, the theater or the exhibitions on the second date. On the second date, the topics narrow down, you pay attention not only to the woman’s appearance but also to her habits, behavior, and reactions. If she likes you, she can allow you to hold her hand. It’s quite enough if you are not looking for an easy prey.