Regardless of the age of the man, a moment comes when he passionately wants to become a family man. It happens when he meets a woman, next to whom he is ready to raise children and grow old. But how to make your soul mate happy, how to build relationships to become a good husband?
You're a Husband Now: What Has Changed?
For those who have recently officially become a family or are just going to, we have prepared a list of things that will change after you say, “Yes!” to each other.
Do not be afraid, your relationship will not get worse, but rather on the contrary. Official registration will eliminate the remnants of fear, allowing you to fully reveal to each other. Now your relationship will become more open, liberated, and sincere. Or maybe you will feel truly protected in a marriage. What could be better?
It is still important for many! Now a new word “husband” will be applied to you, and your loved one will receive the status of “wife.” At first, all this will be a bit surprising, but therefore even more pleasant!
After official registration, you will discover a new level of responsibility. On the one hand, when you swore oaths, you have proved that you want to live your life only with each other. And now you can easily let her go to meet friends, and she will let you go with your friends as well. On the other hand, there is less “mine” and more “our” in your budget. After all, now you are a family!
You begin to notice that the interests of the spouse are becoming more important for you than your own. You support each other when one of you needs help, and drop everything when the other is sick. Why? Because family life involves many compromises because only in this way you can make each other happy! And now, this is your common concern.
You will suddenly find that you began to spend money differently because of the memories of what the wedding budget is still fresh. Now you can’t think only of yourself. Most couples solve this with a joint account and special programs that control costs. And it’s time for you and your mate to discuss this issue in a narrow family circle. Don’t think that all younger women older men relationships are purely mercantile in nature because not all young girls are gold-diggers.
Sometimes it seems to you that there are no secrets between you for a long time. All your bad habits became apparent, and you let out a long time about that incident from your student life. Yes, and you already told about all the stories where you looked not in the best light, and her friends told you everything about the adventures of your partner. Now you have no secrets because you are one family!
Previously, your messages were filled with hidden meaning. When she said something, you tried to understand what she meant. But now everything has become much easier. Sometimes one question or a hint is enough to understand each other. Now there is no need to look for hidden meaning, and you can say everything openly!
At the beginning of your relationship, you probably spent a lot of time figuring out how to diversify your dates. And evenings without her had to be filled with something. But now that you are married, you can just take a walk together after work or chat with each other during dinner. And on weekends, invite friends or visit your parents. Although you can still diversify the evenings with unusual dates!
Not all relationships work out, and you gotta remember that you have only one shot at this life, and spending it on someone you dislike is a waste of time. So don’t do so if you find yourself in a dissatisfying relationship, try virtual dates, and find yourself a new partner online.
What Do Women Look for in a Husband?
What do women desire? Why do women like some men at first sight while others remain unnoticed as if they merge with the surrounding landscape? But, according to scientists, this happens instantly and on an absolutely intuitive, unconscious level: a man is either recognized by a lady as a potential sexual partner suitable for her or not. And then it can be very difficult to change it, often almost impossible. What does it depend on and how to increase your attractiveness for women?
How to be a better husband? Gain a sense of self-confidence! Nothing attracts women so much as a man’s self-confidence, “I know who I am and what I want from life,” reads in his eyes. He feels that he is the master in his world, soberly assesses his strengths and capabilities, and consistently achieves what he wants. A woman feels safe with such a man, and she reaches for him on a subconscious level.
Great mind and sense of humor
In the conventional wisdom that the brain is the sexiest component of a man, there is a large share of truth, psychologists say. It is amazing how attractive the male mind is for a woman. Moreover, women care neither about the IQ of a man nor his encyclopedic knowledge nor even high education. It is rather about a passion for knowledge, a male desire to discover new things, understand the essence of things and events. The mind, as an instrument of world ownership, is what excites the female imagination and delights ladies. A woman wants to be interested in talking with him, arguing, listening to his opinion. If he captivates her with his intellect, sexual desire will not keep itself waiting, it is checked many times!
Vulnerability and sensitivity
How to be a better husband? Be a bit vulnerable. In most cultures, men traditionally suppress their sensitivity, and they don't want to show vulnerability. It is not a trait that you should remember if you want to be sexually attractive to women, but rather the quality of a good husband. For women, this is a signal that the man is open to her, that she is significant to him. And it also confirms his ability to empathy and understanding, tenderness, and care. As if under the outer layer, she sees its depth, its connection with the land, the country, the change of seasons, true naturalness, and sincerity. It is impressive and riveting, and it is what you can love! In no case, sensitivity must mean helplessness, weakness. It is a very subtle point.
Warmth and tenderness
How to be a better husband and father? Know the meaning of love and warmth. Male warmth is about the care and some kind of condescension to female weaknesses. Indulgence should not be arrogant, but it should be about understanding the difference between our natures. The ability to hear a woman and give her the necessary emotional response makes a man very sexy.
High energy level
A high level of sexual energy in men is what attracts women in the first place. It's what makes brakes stop working, knees tremble, and the body is covered with goosebumps. Psychologists and poets write about that, and women admit it as well.
Is Being a Great Husband for Everyone?
Well, everyone can become a great husband, but not everyone is on the right stage in their life to be a good husband, a lot of young men are brought to this decision while, in reality, they are not ready for it.
A young man that enjoys life and tries out the things around him as well as tries to find himself in this world may not end up being the best husband at this stage in his life. It will take him a few years to get smarter, to turn into an actual adult. And it’s not about a number in a passport, after all, it’s about how actually wise a person is.
What Does It Take to Be a Better Husband?
The most important thing is to act according to conscience, as your heart tells you and to be guided by love for your wife. These simple steps, if taken seriously, can make your shared future a happier one. Here are ways to be a better husband.
Treat her with respect and understanding
How to become a better husband? Realize that your wife is an independent, separate person, and does not necessarily want to do everything the same way you do, even if your opinions usually coincide. Here are some examples of how you can show respect
Keep your word
Did they promise to do something? Do it. Did you promise to wash the dishes? No need to skip it, and then come up with excuses while she washes the dishes.
Do not be late
You said that you would come to some place at a certain time, pick up the child from the nursery or something, be there on time. Your wife’s time is no less valuable than yours. Do not assume that she will do something simply because she is your wife or woman. Make sure that you two can always talk and discuss things that bother you. Learn the meaning of favor.
Listen to your wife
Do not pretend, but really listen to what she has to say. Sometimes all we need is a person who would listen to us, hug, and encourage us. If she needs to talk, listen to her carefully, and try to understand the nature of her issues.
How can I be a better husband? Get used to telling being sincere and saying nothing but the truth. Ask yourself, "How would you like it if your wife hid something other than a surprise for her birthday?" If she asks, always say where you are heading. Talk to who you will be. Explain to her your motives, even if they seem unimportant to you. Honesty and sincerity are the keys to good communication, the foundation of any relationship.
Here’s a thing about being a better husband. That goes without saying, however, it needs to be mentioned. Treason is a type of lie. You wouldn’t really like it if your wife had some kind of romance on the side, right? If you have an outside relationship, think carefully about your life and ask yourself why are you even married? If you don’t really love your wife anymore, why are you still together? Perhaps it would be better for both of you to try to find true love. Give it a thought or two. And yes, pornography is also a form of infidelity. This is a form of betrayal. All sexual energy should be concentrated on the wife.
Keep laziness to a minimum
Women really do not like this, and indeed the habit is bad. So if you want to be a better husband, don’t be lazy. Laziness does not necessarily manifest itself in watching baseball on Sundays, laziness is not a desire to do what you “must” or “want” to do, but you cannot force yourself. Take out the trash, surprise her once a week, cleaning the house, exercise. The difference is huge.
Selfishness is no way to go
You can argue for hours about how selfish a person is, but one thing is clear: despite this, we can still be selfless. Instead of asking yourself each time what you can do for yourself, think about what your wife would like or what could be done for your marriage. Try not to be jealous. It is possible from time to time, but so that it does not hurt the good mood of the wife. (If you are jealous, this is usually a good sign). Jealousy can be quite selfish in nature. Never stop your wife from doing anything just because you are jealous. Make a compromise. Learn to negotiate. Often you and your wife want the exact opposite, in these cases, limit yourself. Every time you shouldn't try to grab your own or “win” in a dispute.
Reveal your identity
Marriage is an opportunity for many years to get to know another person better. If you hide some side of the personality, you probably will not get the maximum from marriage. Remember: you get what you give. Have long conversations, make her laugh, share what excites and interests her, take her to some place that is important to her, share fears and doubts, a sense of insecurity, and get acquainted with distant relatives. Be yourself, not the one you think she would like to see.
Remember the golden rule
Treat others the way you would like to be treated. It is not only important for morality but also helps solve problems in relationships. Before you do anything, "put yourself in her place." Of course, this rule must be used wisely, and you cannot lie to yourself about what others want. If you are unsure of something, ask yourself, “What would I want if I were in my wife's place?” It’s a pretty useful exercise, by the way.
Becoming a Better Husband: Romantic Tips to Make Your Wife Happier
If she allows it, be a gentleman Becoming a better husband takes a sense of romanticism. Most women, although not all, are very emotional. If your wife is one of them, get ready to become a knight for her. Think about the manners of those gallant times: kiss her goodbye and when meeting. Do not let her carry heavy things. Open the doors in front of her. Of course, there is always a chance that she does not want you to behave like a gentleman. If so, do not get offended. Be nice even without doing anything special.
Figure out how to please her
It's funny, but often, it’s the little things that fuel a union. Ask yourself, “How can I make my wife even happier?” It does not have to be something extraordinary. Work on relationships with mother-in-law and father-in-law. Little is as important to your wife as your relationship with her relatives. You probably don’t meet them every day, but the point is that your wife most likely wants you to treat them the same way as your parents. Does your wife donate? Participate as well. She will be able to proudly give money for good deeds. Do housework that your wife doesn’t really like. For example, if she hates washing dishes, you can wash all dishes for a week.
Be open, it serves as proof of your love
It shows trust and that emotional closeness is very important to you. For women, unlike men, emotions are especially important. Your openness will prove your feelings to her.
Show your love
Why did you even marry her? Tell your wife how much you love her every day. Speak more often. It will create good habits, add warmth to your relationship, and reduce stress. Write her a small note and put it under her pillow. Saying goodbye in the morning, tell your wife to look under the pillow. The note maybe something like, “I’m happier with each day spent with you. Love you." Approach her from behind, hug and gently kiss her neck. Her heart will melt.
Support your wife
How to be a better husband to your wife? It doesn’t matter if she wants to enroll in a dance class or hang out with friends, your support will give her a sense of confidence. She will always know that she can rely on you. If your wife is upset, figure out how to cheer her up. Bring breakfast to bed, do a foot massage, put her favorite movie. Again, the details are most important.
Books of Being a Better Husband
Here are some books on being a better husband.
- Good Husband, Great Marriage by Robert Mark Alter.
- Marriage: How to Be a Better Husband: The Ultimate Guide to Mastering Marriage for Men by Joshua Cole
- Manly Dominion in a Passive-Purple-Four-Ball Word by Mark Chanski
Devote time to your wife. Help her family in everything: with purchases, repairs, etc. Always tell the truth whether it hurts or not. She should better learn it from you than from someone else.